How Does One Deal with Being Betrayed by a Parent?



That was the day I grew up. The day I stopped being a 16-year-old teenager and became a 16-year-old man. The revelation took my breath away. I tried so hard not to smash the bathroom mirror as I stood there by myself, looking at my reflection, feeling betrayed, with a voice in my head telling me, “Your dad is married to another woman. They have two kids.”


That wasn’t even the worst part. The worst part was that I found out the day my dad clinically died, as he had a brain aneurysm the night before and went into a coma that he never came back from. Everything got out of the box when I noticed a woman who is a stranger to my family and kept coming to check on him. I confronted her and she told me everything! But what was the point? I wanted to be angry with him but I couldn’t. I wanted him to be alive. To be conscious, so I could scream, shout and ask him why? Were we not enough? I wanted him to be alive again so I could send him back into his comatose state myself.


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All these “work” trips he said he had to go. All these phone calls he had to take outside of the house. Everything. How did I not work it out all in my head before? But how? How are you supposed to doubt your parent? Your dad? The sad, ugly truth came to me, which was: Never trust anyone. Even if it’s your fucking dad. For nearly two decades, my mom spent her life in love with a man who was a liar. Who did not deserve her. Which is why, seven years later, I haven’t told her yet, and never will because I don’t want her to feel the hate that I have towards this man.


I would like to admit one thing though: In a weird, fucked up way, I’m glad it actually happened. This situation changed me for life, but it made me the person who I am today and I’m very happy with that person, but most importantly, I’m proud. This situation got me closer to my mom, my sister and my brother and appreciate them, something I had never done before as I always took them for granted. I spend a lot of time and listen to them more now, and for that I’m thankful.



WE SAID THIS: Don’t miss The Aftermath: When Blood Is Thinner Than Water.

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