16 Signs You’re a Functional Hot Mess

If you’re an average non-halal millennial or as I’d like to call you, a dear friend, you’ve done this hot mess thing long enough that you’ve actually turned it into an art. Here are 16 signs that you’re a functional hot mess.

 

 

1. You rage all night but you’re the first in the office… because you didn’t sleep

 

no sleep

 

 

2. You can out party any 18-year-old and that’s a proud moment for anyone in their mid- to late-20s

 

18 year old

 

 

3. You’ve woken up next to a half eaten shwarma and congratulate yourself on getting a different serving of protein

 

shwarma

 

 

4. You forget to answer 15 missed calls and messages but inform everyone you’re still alive via Twitter

 

twitter

 

 

5. You kinda remember everyone you met last night but not by their name…

 

aquar

 

 

6. Before you go out, you set out a fat bottle of water, hair tie, and painkillers for when you get home… because you already know

 

adulting

 

 

7. You’re not sure what happened last night but you probably had a good time because your pockets are empty

 

broke

 

 

8. You call your parents before you go out because you can’t be bothered by that while throwing back shots

 

mom

 

 

9. You probably don’t know the name of the person you’ve been talking to for an hour but you’ve managed to snag a business meeting with them

 

priorities

 

 

10. You realize your flight is actually at 2 AM not 2 PM hours before your flight and still somehow make it… but forget to pack underwear

 

flight

 

 

11. You’re three hours late but at least you made it

 

mast

 

 

12. You know enough big words to help you escape a conversation with a loser

 

loser

 

 

13. You’ve convinced your boss that a mistake you made was due to your client’s stupidity

 

boss

 

 

14. You’ve managed to make sweatpants look business casual

 

sweatpants

 

 

15. You rely on Snapchat to help you recall what exactly happened last night

 

snapchat

 

 

16. You check your phone and realized you accidentally texted your ex last night… letting them know how bad they were in bed

 

ex

 

 

Congratulations you’re awesome, lets hang some time.

 

But-Diddy-has-good-advice-on-how-to-handle-awards-season.

 

 

WE SAID THIS: Don’t miss 30 Things I’ve Learned by 30.

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