Mommy Diaries: Stop the Judgement Pt. 2

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Once you do decide to have kids, you’re bombarded with so many lovely opinions…

Are you planning on breastfeeding? You know it’s the best form of nutrition for your child, right? How long are you planning on breastfeeding? Are you going to introduce formula? My sister in-law breastfed her son for two years.  He’s going to Harvard next fall. Remember! No caffeine. Ever. Make sure to get plenty of water. If you nurse your child he’ll never get sick. Ear infections won’t exist. It’s the best.  You shouldn’t pump. The baby should get it straight from the source. Its not just about the milk, it’s the whole skin to skin process… Remember not to breastfeed in public. That’s just gross/evil eye/ rude/ obnoxious. If anyone asks you if you’re milk supply is good, say no so they don’t evil eye the milk out of you.

And on… and on… and on…

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Deciding on whether or not to nurse your baby is one of the most personal decisions a family can make. Basically a mother who chooses to nurse is accepting her new role. She becomes another human being’s life support. That is a huge role. Everything she eats, drinks, inhales, experiences is passed on to her little. If a mother decides she can’t or just plain and simple doesn’t want to, then that shouldn’t be any of your damn business.

I decided I wanted to nurse L Boogie from when she was still growing in my belly.  I felt it was the natural thing to do. Right after she was born, I realized that I couldn’t do that and I had to introduce formula. I was actually quite sad about that for a while. People felt like they had to outdo me with stories about other people. Oh, you don’t have enough milk? My mom nursed us for 2 years each. 

Yeah well it’s a shame she didn’t raise you with some decency.

Ladies, please, you do whatever is right for you. If you’d rather pump than nurse, go for it. If you’d rather just leave the feeding to formula, then that’s what you need to do. Everybody else out there, you need to understand that if a woman is not happy while nursing her child, all those negative endorphins will be passed through her milk. Baby blues and post-partum depression are not just about the hormonal imbalance.  They’re also due to people constantly making moms feel inadequate and unable to care for their children.

Be kind to one another and learn to accept that we are not all the same. We have different needs, responsibilities, and expectations that we are constantly trying to live up to.  I don’t know what saddens me more, moms who are mean and judgmental towards other moms or people who have never had kids?   Moms, you know you’re exhausted, why not make our lives easier? We need to stick together. And a happy mom means a happy family.

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