Mommy Diaries: I Found Me
A lot has happened to me these past few months. I had my second baby, I started my own business, and I finally began writing. I can see myself changing before my own eyes. Its like some sort of alarm has gone off and I’m finally waking up. I’m no longer in the mommy twilight zone where my life revolved around squeezing a social life in somewhere between diaper change #32 of the day and my second nap.
I found me.
It really is quite liberating. I no longer doubt my mommy abilities. I actually know what I’m doing. And I’ve come to the realization that the only reason I ever doubted myself was because society did.
If a woman hires a nanny, that automatically makes her an absentee mother. If a mother goes back to work then she is neglecting her children. If a mother stays at home to raise her children she is looked down upon.
So? What is it?
I’ll tell you what I think it is. It’s people with too much time on their hands passing judgment right and left as they always have and always will. You do whatever works for you and your family. If going out with your friends makes you feel more refreshed in the morning, and thus you’re better with your kids, then go for it. If spending every waking moment with your child is what makes you feel whole, bring it on. If drooling over the holy trinity of Ryans* is what it takes to make you do “you” better, then you do your thing. Because at the end of the day, it’s your house, they’re your kids, and it’s your life.
You need to develop your own operating system. Whatever suits your life and brings you happiness, go for it. And just in case you’re waiting for it, your thank you isn’t coming anytime soon. Not until your littles are in elementary school copying a mothers’ day phrase on to some cardboard for you. And you know what? That is totally ok.
It’s all in your head. You don’t need that validation. Going to bed knowing you did the best you could is all we need to maintain our sanity. Well, that’s almost true. We also need carbs. They go hand in hand with happiness so remember to up the dose when feeling down.
So ladies, do your best, put your feet up and hold your heads up high.
*The holy trinity of Ryan’s: Phillipe, Gosling, and Reynolds.
