Mommy Diaries: Gymanstics Can Suck It

My eldest daughter L Boogie has been driving me crazy. No. Not like how regular five year olds drive you crazy. But more along the lines of how psychopathic maniacs stalk you and make you lose whatever marbles you have left crazy. Her younger sister and I are usually stunned into silence or hysterical screaming when she has one of her fits.*

Treading softly is an understatement when it comes to dealing with her. We must make sure to not say the wrong things or else all hell will break loose. We can never ever put the toothpaste on the toothbrush for her or there goes our morning. Things have to be exactly the way she wants. Otherwise, my sweetie pie sugar drop turns into the spawn of satan.

Don’t get me wrong; L is one of the sweetest most caring little people I’ve ever encountered. She just goes berserk if things aren’t exactly the way she wants them to be. Exhausting and frustrating are understatements.

So, after lengthy cry fests with Superdad, experimenting with everything under the sun and tons of self-help books, we have come to a conclusion: Positive parenting and natural-organic-hippie tips can suck it. L Boogie just needs time. She does not have a disorder. She is not reacting to dairy or sugar. She does not need to hug it out or be reminded how loved she is. Because I promise you, it’s normal to hate your child at times, and they know when you’re faking it.

This little girl just needed time.

We’re so used to jumping out of bed into our clothes and out the door. And it’s so bizarre to us when someone else can’t fit into that mold. It is unnatural. Kids weren’t made to run from one task to the next. They shouldn’t have to change their clothes in the car to make it on time to gymnastics. Screw gymnastics. Screw whatever takes happiness away from your child.

You are your little human’s guardian. Not just of their physical being, but of their emotional being as well. We need to strive to make sure our children are the healthiest happiest versions of themselves. Now, please don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you should drown them in M&Ms and let them stay up all night.

But maybe, just maybe, they don’t have to have four different after school activities? Perhaps they can do without all the pressure that will soon follow in their high school careers when they have to worry about GPAs and cliques and squads and all the other nonsense that drives them up the wazoo.

So what did we do? We rearranged our lives. Our events and activities end at least three hours before bedtime. So now, if the girls need to discuss with me the importance of glitter, we have time to do that. I’m not annoyed. They’re not rushed. And everything is fine. We can just chill. This also leads to smoother mornings. Well, most of the time.

We still have bad days, but at least they’re outnumbered by good days. They don’t have to jump out of bed. We can sit and discuss their dreams. I can, for the millionth time, answer Z Money’s multiple questions about why L gets to be five years old before her. And it’s okay.

Relax mamas and repeat after me: Gymnastics can suck it.

* I would like to apologize to our neighbors and residents of the greater 6 October area for this.

WE SAID THIS: Don’t miss Mommy Diaries: Can We All Just Stop Judging Other Moms.