Well, before I begin this post, I’d like to share a little something that happened when I posted the first article on my Facebook, and it’s just a little sneak peek into my crazy family. I got a few congratulatory messages, and threatening messages pushing me to spill the beans on what happens next (those were actually kinda scary).
But at 8am the next day, I got a message from Yassine freaking out saying “your dad just commented! Is he being serious or joking?” Now, like any normal Egyptian girl, my heart dropped. I go to my Facebook stat and this was exactly what my dad wrote: “I did not know you were facebooking Yassine before his innocent visit to Marina!!! We need to talk, See u in Egypt next week. Yassine: call me.”
For those of you who don’t know my dad well, and that includes Yassine, you would think that this was a serious message. But because I have studied this man’s humor, there was nothing to worry about because this particular message was an 80% joke 20% serious, and that’s a great ratio for him. So I proceeded to scold Yassine for almost giving me a heart attack that morning.
Now where were we? Ah yes, when we first met. My best friend Alaa met Yassine while doing her Master’s program in France. That summer, they had graduated from the program and Alaa was coming back to Egypt for good, so Yassine and another good friend of theirs decided to come visit her for two weeks in August.
When they arrived, Alaa was badgering me to join them on all the “fun” touristy things they were going to do, including going to the Pyramids, Khan el Khalili and riding Feluccas. I was like no. way. I am so over trekking all the way to those overcrowded areas, getting harassed, not finding any parking, and breaking my back walking around there. I’m more of a sit down have a nice dinner kind of girl. So I told her I’d join them for dinner.
Note: I knew all about what this guy said about me and had a tiny feeling that he had come all the way to Egypt just to see me (that’s what I tell myself to boost my self esteem.) So I put a cute outfit on, did my hair and put a little extra makeup on (you know what I’m talking about ladies!)
You’re probably waiting for me to tell you how sparks flew when we first laid eyes on each other. Well, they didn’t. It was kind of awkward actually. They were all already there when I arrived, and I didn’t even notice him while over-excitedly saying hey to my friends. And then I shook hands with his friend, then him – and he was literally staring down at the ground/table as we were shaking hands. He was SO shy, which was kind of cute, but later as you will find out, it got really really annoying.
So I was sitting there across from him, and we didn’t exchange one word. I didn’t blame him though because my friends were all so confidently yelling and laughing in Arabic and I guess it’s kind of intimidating (and slightly terrifying) for a foreigner to try and include themselves. His friend did manage to join the conversation, but still I didn’t blame Yassine.
We went to a bar to hang out after that, and still nothing except the casual “What do you do? Is it your first time here?” small talk, and then awkwardly walking away. I thought nothing of it and went home.
The next day, it was time to head to Marina for my family’s annual summer hibernation there. Every Egyptian usually goes around the same time in August, and so Alaa, our friends and Yassine were headed there as well, but only for a week.
Here comes the interesting/annoying part. We did the usual Marina routine – head to the beach in the afternoon, have lunch together somewhere, head home to shower and change, then go out to some party at night. Every. Day. (I personally love it.)
After lunch, Alaa and Runa (one of our crazy hilarious friends) would call me, almost crying on the phone, gushing over what Yassine had said about me. Note: this happened everyday that week; you could say it became part of the routine.
Mind you, we still hadn’t held a conversation again after the bar, even after going out in Marina several times. So I was kind of confused. Should I be flattered or weirded out? I think I felt a mix of both.
So every day, someone would take me to the side and say something like “Last night, we were all in the living room sitting around Yassine and was saying how beautiful you are, how funny you are, how he knew that you would be this incredible.” (In my head, I’d be like, “What the hell is this – AA?”)
Our dear friend Fouad, and Yassine’s go-to Egyptian guy for Egyptian dating advice, even told me he had asked him: “How do guys here ask a girl out?” (Thinking that when he said “a girl” Fouad wouldn’t know he was talking about me.)
I shit you not. I’m not making this up to show off in front of you guys. I mentioned I’m kind of a tomboy so I wouldn’t know how to react if someone called me beautiful. I usually cringe. So I was thinking, is that a French thing? You know the stereotype that all French people are obsessed with love? I was starting to believe it!
I didn’t think it would be to THIS extent though! Of course, my lovely friends didn’t make this easier, and didn’t give the poor guy a chance to act ‘cool’ about it. We would be sitting somewhere and they would be talking about him and the whole “situation” as he was literally sitting right there. They spoke in Arabic (thank the Lord), although my friends would have no problem saying this stuff to his face.
So what were the kind of things they would say? Oh just what any typical Egyptian mother-in-law would. “Why aren’t you sitting next to him?!” “You’re so mean, look at the way he’s staring at you go talk to him!” “He’s so in love and you don’t even care!” “He’s such a good guy what’s wrong with you!” and so on, and so on. Again, Yassine would literally be sitting there looking around with this completely clueless expression on his face. Poor guy.
So that was pissing me off even more because why should I make the first move when he won’t even try to talk to me?! He’s saying all this romantic stuff about me (like things you would read in love poems… If anyone actually reads those anymore) to everyone else; why not say it to me? If that was his strategy to get my attention, it definitely wasn’t working.
Although I will admit that it was kind of fun gossiping about it with my friends. So usually in these stories, there’d be this one night where it all happened. Where he confessed his love and we just got together right then and there. That night for us went completely wrong.
It was at one of the nightclubs in Marina, a day before they all had to go back to Cairo. We all dressed up and headed over there. My friends were feeling a bit over excited about the possibility of Yassine and I being together, so throughout the night (other than the continuous badgering me to talk to him, of course) they would push me at him. Literally, PUSH me. I think at one point he almost spilled his coke and I had to apologize.
So we were all dancing together at one point towards the end of the night, and they all VERY sneakily (not) two stepped all the way to the other side of the club. So it was just me and him, awkwardly dancing there. He started with a little small talk about Alaa and this is how it went:
Y: “You know, Alaa is my best friend from France, we are very close. I tell her everything.”
L: “I know you tell her everything, because she tells ME everything.”
Y (hesitantly): “Oh yea? What does she tell you?”
L: “She told me everything you told her, and everyone else, about me.”
Y: “WHAT! What did she tell you?!”
(And after a while saying ‘you tell me’ no you tell me’ back and forth.) L: “She said you liked me.”
Y (and I want you guys to imagine the thickest French accent you can because I still remember it till this day): “I said you’re gorgeous.”
L: “Well why don’t you tell me or even talk to me?! You’re too busy telling everyone else, meanwhile you’re so shy and you SUCK at communication and…” BAM before I finish my sentence, right there he pulls me closer, and with cat-like reflexes I move my head away and say: “We don’t do this in Egypt!”
SUCH a buzzkill, right? His face turned into all kinds of rainbow colors. He was mortified and apologized profusely explaining that he really doesn’t know how it works here in Egypt. I told him it’s totally fine and laughed it off and we awkwardly joined the rest of the group.
Well, the next day was their last day. Yassine and his friend were going to Luxor for four days then heading back to France. I was hanging out with my family the whole day so I decided to go out with them at night and spend the whole night with them to see what Yassine was going to do. We were like 20 people at the café that night and he was sitting two meters away from me, all shy and to himself as usual. I remember he was trying to switch places and was moving his shisha but it fell from him and broke! Everyone started laughing and I felt SO bad! There went any strand of hope that he’ll get up the courage to talk to me.
We all headed to Alaa’s house after that and I decided to stay till 6 am with them. We all talked and talked until about 4 am, some went to get breakfast and some stayed at home. Again, they all “sneakily” left us for one last time together (Alaa was pretending to sweep the floor right next to us, and literally sweeping away Fouad and the rest so we could get some alone time.)
And what does this guy talk about? The WEATHER. Everything you could ever say about weather, we talked about. Oh, and internships. JUST what I was waiting to hear about the whole night. So as he was continuing his super interesting lecture about these fascinating topics, everyone came back and his only chance to break his silence before leaving forever was gone. I was so frustrated. Do I need to hold him by the shoulders and shake it out of him?
As you could imagine, I was pretty annoyed, and as I was saying bye to everyone I gave him the coldest goodbye I could come up with. Marina was over. The summer romance that I had made up in my head didn’t happen, and what was even more annoying was that I wasn’t drop-dead in love with him at that point, but he figured out a way to get into my head one way or another. I convinced myself to just drop it. He didn’t even make an effort to get the girl of his dreams to give him a chance, was he really that shy? Or was he that decent of a guy that he didn’t want to be taken the wrong way?
That question shall be answered in the next post, where you’ll soon find out that he’s actually a CRAZY one. Like ‘I’ll travel across the world for you’ crazy. (The French really are romantics, take it from me.)
WE SAID THIS: Check out Lenah’s first Diary of a Bride to Be here!