Bathroom Break with Ghazy: Hi Nice to Meet You

I’m in a cab from 6th of October to Maadi. The cab driver is boring and has a stench, the kind I’ve never smelled before. So I’m just going to blabber until the time passes.

My name is Ghazy. When I was younger people used to call me Sameh, which is my fathers name. This is because Mohamed is the most common name in the world. Creativity runs in the family.

My first screen name on ICQ was Moasis because it combined my first name with my favorite band. I was a loser. I think I might still be one.

I bought my first guitar when I was 14, but started playing it when I turned 17. I sold my old guitar to my best friend because it was a piece of junk.

When I was a kid, I never wanted to eat, all I’d ask for was something to drink. My mom got worried and started forcing me to eat, but now all she does is  hide the food away from me.

I never pick my nose… In public.

I’ve got over 1,500 friends on Facebook because I like to have a wide connection of friends whom I don’t really know.

I don’t remember the names of my aunts and uncles because I only met them twice in my life.

My grandmother is my hero because she used to play football with me in the corridor while she was using her Walker. God bless her soul.

I don’t know how to drive a stick shift. And yes, I’m talking about cars.

I think there should be a litter law in Egypt. If you throw litter on the floor, you get litter thrown in your face. Preferably, banana peels and used needles.

I once ran over a cat and cried for two days straight. She’s still alive and walks around Dokki. I feed her whenever I can.

I love my wife more than anyone. Actually, she’s on the same level as my family. They’re both awesome.

When I feel that people hurt the people I love, I watch SAW and imagine them the tortured characters.

I think Sunday is yellow, Monday is red, Tuesday is green, Wednesday is blue, Thursday is brown, and Saturday is white. I love Wednesdays because they make no sense.

I think Egypt is like herpes. It’s something you hate but it’s stuck on you forever. It’s where you’re from and what you are.

I think the inventor of cell phones really liked fruits. Banana, Blackberry and Apple.

I think Coca Cola and, Pepsi are the most childish idiots on the face of the earth. Their products will never diminish without advertising yet they spend billions on it when they can be giving it to people in the slums who eventually buy their products in the end.

People are mindless idiots.

I think bridges are cool unless every single person in every single car is obese.

I never drove a truck. I’ve been in one though. It was carrying chickens. Chicken? Chicken or chickens? Either way, I know who came first, but I will never disclose this kind of information or else the Boston police will organize an unnecessary manhunt against me.

Why do people in Egypt never give you an address but instead ‘describe’ where a place is? They always use landmarks that nobody has ever heard of.

Pet turtles are a waste of time.

Per rocks are more entertaining.

I never knew there was a Cairo in the USA. I never knew there was an Egypt in the USA. I never knew there was a Maadi in the USA. We should name places in Egypt after the USA. We should change Shubra to Arkansas and pronounce the silent ‘s’.

I’m home. He was quick. These were the best 35 minutes I’ve spent in my life.

I hate roaches and flying. My biggest fear is finding a roach on a plane.

Good night, God bless you and have a safe journey home.

The driver still stinks by the way.

60 LE well spent.