Bathroom Break: Islamic Preachers

I don’t know why but Islamic preachers of all kinds really bother me. Obviously, it’s nothing against the religion, it’s just the mannerisms.

I know they are trying their best to each have a different method of trying to convince someone but it gets a tad annoying.

There are three types of Islamic preachers:

1. The Dramatic Soft Spoken Preacher:

Moez Masoud is a prime example. He seems like a nice enough guy, but whenever he speaks it feels like he’s going to burst in tears and then jump off a cliff. Plus his hand motion is extremely slow. I have to hand it to him though, for someone to go hours on end speaking that way without wanting to slap himself is quite admirable.

Facial Hair: Neatly Shaven Goatee

2. The Excessively Smiley Preacher:

You know those ones? The ones that after every single point they make, whether it’s relevant or not they have to give a Colgate smile at the end. They always seem like they’re expecting unnecessary “Oohs” and “Aahs” from the listeners. It’s worse when they’ve got gingivitis too. Think Amr Khaled with his squeaky voice.

Facial Hair: Sailor’s Moustache

3. The Angry Loud Preacher:

I’ve been seeing a lot of them recently. And they end up saying something so absurd right when they are about to make sense. And then scream about ‘hell’, ‘death’ and ‘infidels’ all of a sudden like they want you to jump off your seat. I’m thoroughly convinced that the excessive facial hair is making them more prone to anger.

Facial Hair: Haphazard Pube Beard