When I became pregnant, I thought for sure our babymoon would be the last trip we ever took as a childless couple. Well, the babymoon never happened (doctor’s orders) and six months post-delivery, I was exhausted, overwhelmed and felt very disconnected from my husband and our marriage. We tried to get away a few times with the baby — a day trip to the beach, for example, but it didn’t leave me feeling relaxed or refreshed.
My husband suggested an adult-only vacation for a few days. I couldn’t believe my ears. Did he really think I would go somewhere and leave my baby behind? I would be a terrible mother to do that, right? Well, we took that adult-only vacation, and here are some things I learned along the way:
1. Baby will be okay
I was hesitant to take this trip because I had no family or friends living nearby who I trusted enough to leave my son with. Luckily, my mother came to town and was happy to have her grandson all to herself for a few days. The woman raised me and I turned out normal (depending on who you ask), so surely three days with my little nugget would be just fine… and it was. Lesson to takeaway: Only leave your child(ren) with someone you trust 100%, otherwise you won’t be at ease, which defeats the purpose of getting away to relax.
2. Marriage needs it
Since having a baby, I would say 70% or more of the conversations with my husband are baby-related. We tend to talk about how quickly he’s developing or our hopes and dreams for him and, yes, even how impressed (or worried, depending on the day) we are with his bowel movements. Our life has become so consumed by this little man that we don’t have much else to talk about anymore… or so I thought.
Getting away from the house and our child allowed (ALLOWED, not FORCED) us to talk about other subjects. Because we were not living and breathing baby from morning through night (through, not to), we did not always have to talk about him. It was so refreshing to have adult conversations about adult topics, and it was just as nice to enjoy the island without having to talk. Silence never sounded so good.
It’s also important to create husband-wife memories. I’ll be able to look back on these three glorious days with my husband and recall delicious food, beautiful sunsets, swimming with fish, surfing, sailing, dancing, swimming and more (full review of our resort here). All these cherished memories are special because they were created by us and for us. These three days alone allowed us to reconnect as a couple and reminded us of the love that brought us together years ago.
3. It’s okay to communicate with home
Before you leave for vacation, put things in place at home. Provide your child(ren)’s caretaker with a daily schedule and list of important phone numbers. Discuss with your spouse how often and when you will check in with home. Will you call daily? Log in to the baby monitor cameras? FaceTime or Skype? I did all of these daily, sometimes three to four times a day, and that’s OK.
I was on vacation from home life, not stationed at war without access to my family. I had the choice to see and speak with my son and I took advantage of it. It made me feel better and more at ease. There was no reason why I had to deprive myself of my baby.
4. Connect with yourself
The one word that most describes how I felt on this trip is “liberated”. I love my son more than anything in this world, but it felt really nice not to have to tend to his every need. I didn’t have to wake up numerous times at night to soothe him, make formula bottles or sit behind a pump every few hours, play for hours on the floor, or carry him while brushing my teeth.
I had time for me. I took long showers, slept through the night (first time since before pregnancy!), read a book, had conversations with myself and, best of all, I just sat there, for as long as I wanted. My body and mind needed this time for itself.
This kids-free trip was truly the best medicine we could ask for. Our bodies needed the rest, our minds needed the relaxation and our souls needed the rejuvenation. I returned home to my son a better mother. So in the end, we all win.
Have you taken an adult-only vacation after kids? Would you consider doing it? Tell me your thoughts in the comment space below.
WE SAID THIS: Don’t miss Anantara Veli Maldives Resort: Romance and Relaxation at Its Best.