13 Signs You Put the ‘Pro’ in Procrastination in Egypt

An event called اكبر تجمع للعلوق بكوكب الارض و الكواكب المجاورة  just surfaced on Facebook and, surprisingly, as offensive as it sounds, people are actually loving it. The admin, the master of all procrastinators, understands the peer pressure of being asked to do something on time and started what seems to be a therapeutic event that might take place in 2025.

This one goes out to all the couch potatoes who do nothing all day but make fictional plans on the phone while deciding which TV series to binge watch before studying for the following day’s midterm, only to end up in front of the fridge trying to choose between salad and ice cream and getting emotionally exhausted from over-thinking about all the decisions, so instead couch potato again, order junk food and ask someone from the other room to hand them the remote.



Clicking “join” on the Facebook event page feels like an accomplishment





Sharing how you fail to get anything done feels so damn spiritually healing





Work starts at 9 AM but you set the alarm at 9:30 AM 


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You tell your friends you are on your way but you are still shaving


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You can’t choose a college, what to order for lunch, if you are a coffee or tea person, whether to eat beef or chicken on your EgyptAir flight and whether to buy Kit Kat or Katakito





You know you are going to cancel your plans while you are still excitedly making them





You have the ability to come up with a thousand things to do other than that one urgent chore





You are constantly busy when you’re actually doing nothing at all





Years later, you notice that everyone tells you to meet two hours before the actual time




You’ve missed more exams than you can remember





You wake up at 4 AM, dying to pee, but you fight it til 7 AM





You have no energy for #WhiteFriday even though they are offering you a 70% discount, so you’ll probably end up buying it later at full price — or, let’s be honest, not buy it at all





You aspire to be the master of procrastination


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