The Arab divorce rate is increasing every single year. Divorce rates among Egyptians have risen to a whopping 40%. FORTY PERCENT. That’s almost half the population. So imagine: If 40% of married Egyptian couples are getting divorced, how many Egyptian kids with divorced parents does this leave us with?
I am personally a child of divorce. My parents have been divorced for as long as I can remember. But it has reached a point where it doesn’t haunt me anymore; like anything else, I got used to it. I don’t get offended when people ask me about it. I have memorized a script, back and forth, as a response.
Nevertheless, my childhood experience has taught me to love differently. I started to learn from my parents’ mistakes and I began to redefine what true love really means. I became less optimistic and more realistic, until these 13 concepts have shaped the present me.
So, if you’re an Arab child of divorce, here are 13 love concepts only you can relate to:
1. You don’t really believe in happy endings
No matter how many times you watch Elwesada ElKhaleya, Sahar ElLayali, or even Omar We Salma, you simply don’t believe in happy endings.
2. But can anyone blame you?
What was supposed to be your ideal example of “forever after” — your parents — has shown you how true love can easily shatter into a million pieces.
3. You understand that love is not enough
You’re not sure if your parents truly loved each other back then or not, but you try to believe that they did. So, you tend to support the Egyptian saying “el hob mesh kol haga”. You start to consider that even though two people can strongly love one another, that doesn’t necessarily mean they should be together. There are other factors that can stand in the way, because love is certainly not enough.
4. We all know how cheesy Egyptian pickup lines can be!
“7elwa zay el 2eshta.”
“Gamalek da walla gamal 3abed el Nasser.”
“Akeed mamma na7la 3ashan te5lef el 3asal da.”
“Amar arba3tashr.”
5. Actions speak louder than words
But it’s not that easy to trick you. A few romantic words won’t steal your heart. You understand how worthless words can be. So you’re more attracted to actions; you really want people to prove themselves to you and assure you that they’re worth it.
6. You always question everything
You understand that dreams get shattered and promises get broken. So you tend to overthink everything and analyze the smallest details, considering every possible situation.
7. You don’t let people in easily
This is mostly because trusting is a difficult task for you. Before you let anyone into your heart, you want to make sure you can fully trust him or her. No matter how much you love someone, it’s extremely difficult for you to easily open up your heart.
8. You fear the unknown
The fact that you can never truly know someone scares you. Before you get close to someone, you feel the obligation to know everything about them. You get concerned about hidden secrets. So you try to ask a lot of questions and find out as much as possible about them before it’s too late.
9. You pay more attention to flaws
In your case “el hob mesh a3ma”. You pay more attention to flaws because flaws scare you. You understand that no one’s perfect, but you still try to search for a flawless person. This causes you to have unrealistic expectations, but you just can’t help it, you feel like any small flaw can get in the way of your relationship.
10. You appreciate stability
If there’s one thing you hate the most, it’s drama. Your childhood was filled with it to the point that you’ve become an anti-drama promoter. You value stability and peacefulness.
Sometimes, you might be truly in love with someone, but avoid admitting it because you want to skip the drama. And if you’re in a relationship, you might try to avoid small arguments, since you would rather just stay happy and carefree.
11. You’re always prepared for the worst
When things get rough, you don’t get that devastated. You’ve probably already imagined this scenario multiple times in your head. So one way or another, you saw it coming.
12. You view commitment differently
You fear long-term commitment. You’re afraid of making a wrong decision and dealing with its negative consequences. So you just choose to avoid serious commitment or try to minimize it as much as possible.
This becomes extremely hard for you to accomplish in a marriage-oriented society. People around you simply won’t get you. All your friends are eagerly rushing to get married, while you’re just sitting there feeling like you’re not ready to promise anything without exploring all your options.
13. You might seem hard to love, but in reality you’re not
At the end, you’re still human. You want to love and you want to be loved.
You just try to be cautious enough not to get hurt the same way your parents did, but it’s sometimes hard for Egyptian society to understand this.
WE SAID THIS: Don’t miss 9 Reasons Why You Should Marry a Divorce Woman.