My Two Cents: I’m Having an Affair

I’m having an affair and my husband knows about it. I can’t stop, I want it all the time and most of the time – frankly, it happens right in front of his eyes. My love for food is not normal. Since I was a wee little chubster, my love affair with food has been documented. My baby albums are comprised of photos of me covered in food and shamelessly stealing food (from my own birthday party, mind you). And thanks to my Egyptian genes, my love for food does not go unnoticed. A bite here equals a jiggle there.

As most of you know, the Egyptian couple is blessed with a nuptial curse – the belly. As Egyptian couples relax into their married life style, their waistlines relax simultaneously. The honeymoon doesn’t help either. Nutella banana crepe? Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Self-control is nowhere to be found when nutella enters the picture.

So there I was, two months into my marriage and my jeans felt snug. Curse words followed and I knew things had to change. My ass will not have it’s own shadow. I will not jiggle. I repeat: I will not jiggle.

My love for baking has taking a turn for the healthier (who knew applesauce works wonders as a substitute?) and tabata has found it’s way back into my life. But my love for food will not be compromised, I have begun a mission to become a wizard in the kitchen using only the healthiest ingredients. Olive oil is my new best friend and nutella is banned from the premises.

Exercise is also key. I can’t help but giggle when I hear girls my age say they “walked laps” at the club. What are you, 70? We are young! (that song popped into your head, didn’t it?) We are the next generation to lead Egypt. Hell, we’ve already led Egypt to a revolution. So shouldn’t we be healthy and in shape? A game of soccer a week is great, but it’s not enough. Going on a crash diet prescribed by one of those strange nutritionists who somehow encourage women to lose 10 kilos a week can’t be right. The healthiest weight loss is half a kilo a week. I hear you ladies shouting but it’s true. That’s the weight that will stay off. Anything more than that will show up the second you change your routine/diet.

Here’s a beginners tip on how to stay healthy and still enjoy a mouthful of love:

1. slice up two bananas, lay the slices flat on a cookie sheet and stick in the freezer for two hours.
2. Then put the frozen banana slices into a food processor, add whatever flavor you want (or leave plain if you want it banana-flavored) and VOILA – ICE CREAM! Sans dairy, sugar, and all those crappy preservatives.

More healthy-yet-delicious recipes to come as I practice on my poor husband. Till next time…