Mommy Diaries: Show offs

My kids are no superheroes. I think they’re awesome simply because they came from me and Superdad’s gene pool. That in itself is enough to put them on a whole other level. But besides that, they’re run of the mill regular kids. They poop when they shouldn’t. They eat things they find on the floor. And for the most part there’s almost always something coming out of their noses or nether regions. L likes to throw herself on the floor and scream when I put jelly in her peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Z will bulldoze anything in her path to get to any food in sight. It’s pretty cool I guess. They’re gross, annoying, adorable, and super high maintenance.

And with the exception of a few kids we’ve seen on Ellen, so are your kids. Yes. As much as you’d like to think otherwise, your kids are all of the above. Your son might have walked at 10 months, but I’m sure he’s lacking in another area… like the fact that he doesn’t know how to do the hokey-pokey and turn himself around.  Your daughter might’ve potty trained herself in a day, but she still pukes every time she gets into the car.

We, as parents, are programmed to show our kids off.  They are extensions of us. We can write all our wrongs through them. They are our blank canvases.

We are already living vicariously through them. The fact that I have two girls just gives me more ways to fulfill all my dreams. L Boogie and Z Money will practice tennis, ballet, kickboxing and everything else to make sure they stay fit and learn how to be superstars. I mean team players. I’m already working on teaching them a third language.  So rather than focusing on how much cooler your kids are, how about we focus on how much cooler we can make them.