Mommy Diaries: Kids Need to Know That You’re Not Full of Sh*t


My eldest monster L Boogie just turned six. SIX. What does this mean? Well, besides the fact that I feel old, it means that she now can remember everything that’s happening. I can’t sing and dance the memory of how I forgot it was crazy sock day at school away. This will be the story that she shares with her friends years from now when they compare how awful their parents were.

She can also pretty much spell and read. So Superdad and I can no longer spell things to each other across the table in her presence. I also need to hide my text messages from her if she can see my phone.

She is turning into a full-fledged human being. L now talks about her feelings, and how I’ve hurt them. I can no longer snap back with a “I never touched your feelings” joke. Z Money still finds that joke hilarious and pats me on the back for my quick wit… L, not so much. L is ready to conquer the world.

So, now what?

kids-growing-up-too-fastWell, I guess this is the part where we truly incorporate her into our lives. We can’t baby her anymore or lightly toss aside things she wants to discuss. Also, Im beginning to feel that we can’t make the world as pink as our overprotective selves would like. I guess this is the time to agree with them on some things. Yes, your coach is a jerk. You’re right, that classmate is obnoxious. Rather than the old, “We love everyone and everyone is kind.” Because unfortunately, not everyone is.

I’ve decided to handle this with as much new age parenting as my stomach can handle. Kids need to know that you’re not full of shit. This is the age where you either turn this monkey into a friend or a distant inhabitant of your home. We need to take their concerns seriously and truly listen to them.

So let’s get back to that jerk of a coach. I’m going to handle it the way I would’ve liked my mother to handle my elementary Arabic teacher. I am going to listen to her concerns and address them. Yes, you are right, he isn’t the nicest man, but don’t worry about it. Let’s first agree that he knows what he’s doing, and benefit as best we can from his knowledge. And you know what? Maybe he isn’t going to be a friend. And that’s all right. We have plenty of other people that love us very much.

Is she complaining of an obnoxious friend or relative? Chances are you probably agree with her. Help her. Be her guardian, not her warden. Try to limit their interaction or try to teach your children to rise above. It truly is a magical thing to be able to not give a damn. Teach them not to sweat the small stuff.

They’re going to meet people they get along with and people they can’t stand. You won’t always be there to fix that. Give them the coping mechanisms to deal with that. Teach them the difference between maintaining the peace and turning into a doormat. Or at least do your very bestest.




WE SAID THIS: Don’t miss Mommy Diaries: The Battle of the Sexes, Simplified.