Mommy Diaries: I NEED A VACATION

I need a vacation. With all my heart and soul I need a vacation. An adults’ only grown up vacation where bedtimes don’t matter and snacks don’t come in Ziploc bags.

I need a vacation that doesn’t require me to lug around a stroller and fret about stairs. A vacation that doesn’t require bathrooms to have changing tables. I want to check into a hotel without having to request a bassinet or play yard. I want to wake up whenever I damn well please and go to bed at unreasonable hours just because I can.

Sounds reasonable enough, no? So what’s stopping me? Nothing really. Just one thing moms know all about.

Guilt.

Besides a weekend last year and a hospital stay later, I have never left my children for more than a few hours a day. This by no means whatsoever makes me a better mom, it just makes me a crazy one. 

I talk the talk, but whenever my parents or husband say just go for it, I panic. My palms get sweaty and my head spins. How will anyone else know that when L Boogie says “open the music” she just means to turn up the volume? How will anyone know that when Z is cranky as hell, all she needs is a quick game of peekaboo or patty-cake and not a nap?

Well, they wont know what to do. But they will eventually figure out. And the girls will be fine. And I’ll come back refreshed, which in turn will make me a better mom. And I can do this. You’ll see.

Now I just need to book my ticket… for spring 2013 perhaps…