Mommy Diaries: Friends

My mother could smell a bad friend from a mile away. As much as I hated to admit it, she was always right. Every. Single. Time. Even if it took years for me to finally see what she was warning me about, she was right. But, as obvious as most young ones are, the more she warned me about someone, the closer she pushed me towards them. I just couldn’t help it. My life couldn’t have been as simple as she tried to make it seem. Surely I had more depth and I wasn’t that predictable. But I digress…

Looking at L Boogie and Z Money, I can’t help but feel the need to attempt to do what my mother tried so hard to do. I want to keep away the liars, moochers, fakers, haters, and all around bad people… but how?

I see my friends and it is quite clear whose parents actually invested some time in their upbringing and who were led astray.  There are the friends who gladly adopted any wandering vagrant regardless of their psychological problems in the hopes that perhaps this will help fill the void. There were those who were automatically dubbed snobby for refusing to accept such strays. Then, there were the ones with the big hearts. The ones who just genuinely liked other people and accepted them regardless of anything.  I don’t know which category I fell into or which I think I’d hope my kids become.

How do I protect my littles from the terrors of a bad friend? How do I teach them to turn a blind eye towards bad influences while embracing their individuality? I want to know how to teach them to know the difference between conforming for society’s sake and accepting whatever makes them unique. As much as I applaud non-conformists, I know they are fighting a harder battle than those who fit the mold. So what should I teach my kids to aspire to?

I want them to be happy. I want them to be good girls. I want them to care about their fellow man. I want them to love themselves. I want it all. The never-ending job of parenting is all about that. Figuring out what’s best for your children while making it seem like they’re figuring it out on their own?  It seems like a good thing, being a selfish parent and wanting it all.  I guess all these questions will inevitably make me lose whatever sanity I have left, but I guess J.D. Salinger said it best, “mothers are all slightly insane.”