You must have come across one of those French speaking Egyptians that you either sort of despise or envy or both at the same time and don’t exactly know why? You blame them for adopting that French “je ne sais quoi” when they’re not even fully French (if at all) or for thinking they’re superior when really they grew up in the same freaking
shithole you did?
Here might be a few of the struggles that could explain the social gap that divide you, Egyptian French-speaker, from the rest of the country and world.
1. Pronouncing the French words used in Arabic the right way and having the person in front of you not understand
I’m sorry if it’s “ascenseur” and not assanssor guys, I truly am.
2. Going out of your way to pronounce French words used in Arabic the Egyptian way, like for example kowafeerrr (i.e. coiffeur), and people still not understanding
3. Having so many kids come up to you saying they understand everything because their grandma is fluent in French
4. Or having to deal with people going: “Je parles Francais comme les oiseaux”
No comment, birdies, no comment.
5. Your “A”s always sounding cuter than pure Egyptian speakers’s “A”s, whether you intended to sound cute or not
MAfish FAyda quoi…
6. People abroad always assuming you’re Lebanese
Why did this tiny dot on the map of a country become the capital of all Arabic-French speakers again?
7. Those words you made up that can make you sound either super sophisticated or retarded
Ne t’inquiète pas! On va te zabater.
8. Even if you’re the best French speaker of the region, you will still make those tiny mistakes…
- Je vais passer encore un peu (!?) -> ha geelak kaman shwaya.
- Je monte en haut (not okay) -> ana tale3 fo2.
9. Most of you friends are likely to be French speaking Arabs too
10. You use “Oh La La” in real emergency situations. It’s not just some fancy sound you make when you’re impersonating Beyoncé…
11. Your love for Dalida is just beyond; she’s like family, ok?
12. You tend to use more [i]s than [e]s when writing phonetic Arabic
Akid msh akeed.
13. Hearing Egyptians making plurals out of French words
Agebloko kam chaise-longuette ya mazmasellat?
14. You were born a mekaniki (mechanic) without even knowing it
El ekserateer, wel radeeteer, wel direksyoon, wel kaboot, wel shaseh…French French French French, and French!
15. You constantly have Yamli open in a hidden tab (if it’s not your home page) in case someone will ask you to write ANYTHING in Arabic at any moment…
16. You are made the automatic translator of the randomest things, from the Club Suisse menu to the nutrition facts on food and medicine labels
17. Being so used to the people around not understanding the crap you say about them in French…until your next trip to France becomes dangerous
18. You’re reading this thinking it’s so much more profound sometimes…like people may assume you’re up tight or delicate and it doesn’t even get to you
WE SAID THIS: Don’t miss out on 13 Things Only Half Arabs Will Understand.