What Every Egyptian Must Do Today So We Win the Africa Cup of Nations Final

Okay so, Egypt is freaking out. We’re hours away from possibly winning the Africa Cup of Nations and it’s too much for anyone to handle. We’ve finally experienced the type of happy we’ve been longing for and we can’t imagine sh*t hitting the fan today. It just can’t. We must win.

 

Here are six things we as citizens of Egypt should all do today to avoid jinxing our lucky streak:

 

 

We must join forces to keep Hussein El-Jasmi away from any studio. The last thing we need is an another Egypt song, we all know the kind of luck he brings

 

 

 

Airlines must team up to keep Fardous Abdel Hamid home. Under no circumstances should Abdel Hamid be given a flight ticket to Gabon

 

 

 

This guy said it all. We repeat every single detail that brought our team good luck. Watch the final at the same place, wearing the same outfit, with the same people, and even say the same jokes

 

 

 

No Hadary bragging on social media. Rumor has it that Egypt’s goal keeper already has a bad cold after we jinxed his super powers

 

 

 

Masr kolaha tesali (everyone in Egypt must pray) at 3 pm and hope that size doesn’t matter

 

 

 

Let’s all act indifferent. 3ady mafish haga khales today (no big deal)

 

 

 

WE SAID THIS: Hussein  ElJasmy, we dare you release a song!!!!