7 Types of Nannies You Meet in Egypt

The nightmares. The constant fear of being abandoned. The bond that is destroyed just as fast as it’s established. The non-stop disappointments of being dumped no matter how hard you try. It’s not a beak up, it’s the nanny.

As a mom, I can honestly and definitely say that one of the biggest struggles I’ve had since I gave birth was finding hired help that will make my life easier rather than give me early wrinkles. No matter how hard we mommies try, it is one failure after the other.

Working mom or stay-at-home parent, we all need that extra help at some point of the day so we don’t lose our mind. Whether it’s sitting next to the baby while we take a three-second shower or playing with your kid until you finish cooking, or simply wanting to spend a day out with friends to let off steam without the hassle of chasing the child around. A nanny does make your life easier. Supposedly!

Alas, life taught me that having a job and a child is extremely challenging, if not impossible. Nannies have become a major source of headache in my life. Here are all the clichés I’ve come across the past two years.

 

 

The Abla Kamel

 

She can’t stop crying. One minute, she is smiling to the guests, the next she’s doing the dishes and crying her eyes out.

You ask her what happened and she either stays quiet, which is a dead giveaway you’ll be dumped in hours, or tells the strangest story about her friend who committed suicide in Maadi, which also means “I feel insecure, I want a raise.”

 

 

The Child Bride

 

This is the local Egyptian type. You would think she’s young and would be interested in playing with a kid, but you couldn’t be more wrong. Her father is the broker and mother is the momager and they take her from one job to another to make more money through commissions and they always give you the excuse, “Galha 3aris”.

 

 

The David Copperfield

 

“See you tomorrow,” you naively say at the door, thinking she’s ll be back. Then poof, she’s nothing but a memory. Her phone is turned off and no one you ask knows who she is. She just disappeared and went all David Copperfield on your miserable soul.

 

 

The Walking Dead Zombie

 

She doesn’t want to work and is ridiculously lazy. She is always in her room, on her phone or standing somewhere she’s not needed. You ask her to help without being asked, but she goes all zombie crazy on you and just stares.

 

 

The Robin Hood

 

It all starts with a pair of baby jeans disappearing, then it’s earrings you liked. You convince yourself to wait until you find someone else, but it never happens because she takes your shabka and bawab and runs away.

 

 

The One with the Khaliji Dablaja Accent

 

Your kid’s vocabulary doesn’t sound right. She’s a blend of Khaliji and Asian. She says stuff like “Hayya beena” and “Elnajda” for fun. The nanny is perfect, but it is obvious to everyone she is spending too much time with your kid and it will ruin her school interview.

 

 

The Perfect Mary Poppins

 

Just kidding! You are never that lucky. The perfect nanny only exists in movies and dreams.

 

 

WE SAID THIS: Don’t miss Dear Mom Enslaved by the Idea of Hired Help: You Are Not Alone.