Not Hadeel’s Kid
You’re not really a parent until you’ve traveled with your children. If you think its stressful being on a plane with a crying baby, imagine when that screaming pile of poop is yours. That is a whole other level of psychological warfare. Hundreds of people stuck together in a tin can flying in the sky… all wishing horrible things upon you and/or your little bundle of joy.
Well, yesterday, for the first time in years, I was on a plane… baby-free. I can’t even begin to describe to you the freedom. I ate, watched a movie (all of it), read my book and even took a little nap. Of course for all my non-parents out there, this seems trivial. Let me tell you what its like traveling with a child.
Babies require a lot of gear. They use so much stuff that it has actually become a game for me and superdad to try to figure out how to pack it all into one car/bag/house. When traveling with a child, you can’t really pack until the child is asleep. Then you need to skillfully assess which items of gear you absolutely can’t live without for the few hours before the trip. You’ll pack those later*.
Once you’re all packed and ready to go, it all begins. It’s usually nice, calm and quiet the first 10-15 minutes in the car and for a few moments you smile thinking to yourself, I can do this!
That’s when something happens. You let your guard down and they sensed it. This includes everything from car sickness/bathroom trip/necessary diaper change/tantrum/the realization that you left the child in the car seat… in the living room.
Once you’ve accomplished the task, check in at the airport begins. It’s like the clerk behind the too high desk at the airport wants to give you a harder time. Do they not understand that the longer it takes to give us our boarding passes, the fussier the children will be?
This is also the part where attendant decides your stroller fate. Yes, stroller fate. Not all strollers are created equal. Some are automatically deemed “too big” or “too heavy” to be taken from you at the plane and you need to ship it. No big deal right? Wrong. Picture this. Screaming toddler/infant (sometimes both), carry on with all above-mentioned gear, passports and boarding passes in your two arms. Now throw into the mix metal detectors, taking your shoes off, and people who are in a hurry.
Fun stuff.
I think my favorite part is once you’re on the plane. The look of horror on your fellow passengers faces once they realize how close they are to you and your offspring.
I used to think I’d never travel with my kids until they’re old enough to behave themselves on flights. Just to spare the fellow passengers and myself the headache of having to listen to my uncontrollable crying. Sorry, I meant my babies’ crying. But that’s impossible. With family all around the world and other obligations, parents sometimes need to transport their broods from place to place, so let’s make it easier for them.
We used to be like you. We used to have books and headphones. But we’ve traded those in for bibs and bottles. So give us a break.
*later: that elusive time of the day that you think you have… you don’t. Later usually means as you’re carrying you’re screaming toddler and answering the phone assuring your mom/mother in law that you packed enough sweaters.