Egypt’s Roads are a Death Trap!


People say I exaggerate on Facebook all the time to make my stories more interesting. And you know what? I do. But I could have easily and needlessly died today and there’s not one ounce of exaggeration there.

I’m on the Ring Road, going home to Maadi from Zayed, and I’m driving on the left side at 90-100 km/h. I know I was driving at that because, as my friends say, I drive like a paralyzed grandmother. The road was completely empty, but all of a sudden I find a pile of wooden bars, maybe about 20 of them, in front of me.

Obviously I have no time to swerve to the right, so I drove over them. After that happened my car kept on swerve left and right for about 5-10 seconds and I honestly felt that this was it for me. Fortunately, there were none of those opium fuelled truck drivers hovering nearby so I got the car under control again and I was okay. The car wasn’t. I heard a loud noise so I parked and looked under the car, and there were massive wooden bars stuck up my car’s ass.

I removed two, but couldn’t get the other two out. Oh and I also got a couple of blisters.

I wasn’t bothered that something could have happened to me, screw it, that’s life. I was bothered that something could have happened to me because Egypt boasts some of the worlds most irresponsible f***tards.

I can tell you what happened a while before I drove over the wooden bars.

An idiot driver trying to get wood from point A to point B using a prehistoric truck (that is probably banned in over 200 countries) dropped the wood because he didn’t tie them up correctly. He knew the wood fell out his truck because there is no way in hell you don’t feel that unless you’re deaf, blind and stupid. He got lazy and just drove off.

I see this every day. Like when trucks are transferring pebbles or sand and they just drip the entire way. I never got how they reach their required destination with anything at all. It’s beyond me. I even see garbage trucks in Egypt dropping garbage all over the streets while they’re driving, like they’re spreading the garbage love.

Oh and by the way, I tried to get back and take the wood off the road but I couldn’t make it all the way back.

Anyway, just because of one act of irresponsibility by an incompetent person, I could have lost my life, or the life of any other driver that happened to be around me.

I hate this country with a passion. I always said that I love it because it’s who I am and it’s where I’m from… but you know what? I don’t. I hate it. And I want to leave. And we all hate it and we want to leave. I mentioned before that there is nothing worth staying for.

We suck at sports. We suck at politics. We suck at education. We suck at health care. We suck at art. We suck at taste. We suck at being environmentally friendly. We suck at banking. We suck at driving. We suck at comedy (yes we do, damena 2ebtada yoltosh). We suck at technology. We suck at order. We suck at making one decent meal. We suck at entertainment. We suck at being honest people. We even suck at being shitty. The only thing we are good at is blaming other people for our mistakes.

We are a country filled with arrogant, bloodsucking, backstabbing, incompetent, mindless souls.

There’s nothing good here but family and friends, and they’re not the product of this country per say, they are just a product of your surroundings.

I hate it and I want to leave and take the people I love with me. I don’t want to wake up one morning, finding out that one of the people I love loses their lives just because of one lazy ass driver.

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