A Guide to Writing Perfect First Messages on Dating Sites

If you are reading this article – then it is quite likely that you are currently searching for a partner online and you have some issues and there isn’t anything wrong with this issue, a lot of men encounter it every single day and not everyone is comfortable when it comes to starting a conversation. Still, how can you attract the attention of a person and make them interested in just one message? 

The question is really relevant because the competition on dating sites is quite heavy. 

General tips: 

Do not be a bore! The first message should make a person smile or even make them laugh. 

Try not to ask questions that can be answered with either “Yes” or “No”. 

Do not start a conversation with personal topics. You will scare them off. 

Nothing sexual, this is very important! 

No complex issues and questions. On the first message, a person should be able to respond automatically, without thinking. They should not feel uncomfortable and try to come up with an answer that will be fitting. There is a high chance that you will be left ignored. Also, don’t bombard them with messages, you have to know how much texting is too much. 

Do not start communication with compliments (especially those that have to do with a person’s looks) Men may appreciate it, but women tend to dislike this approach. And do not put the person above yourself, you are the same. 

In my opinion, there are several options when it comes to starting a dialogue: 

Option number one. Be creative, come up with an interesting approach that will tell a person that you find them either attractive or generally interesting. 

Option number two. Ask bold questions, try to poke some fun at their image, but be very careful with that. I tend to use this approach quite often, you just have to not let your wits offend a person. 

The third option is more serious for people. View their profile and photo, try to understand their interests. For example, you saw an album with photos of their trip to Egypt – write something like “Photos from Egypt are cool! Do you like to travel? Where else would you like to go? (this is the second message)”. One of their photos shows a tattoo – “What an interesting tattoo. It probably has some meaning to it. What is it?”. If nothing was found, you can ask them something personal (they say, “If someone would shut down the internet all over the world, what would you prefer to do?”). But maintaining a dialogue on a topic in which you yourself don’t qualify is difficult. 

I’ve made some reasons and found some awful ways and phrases with which you can approach a person online: 

Forgive me, please, but wasn’t it you who robbed a store and stole all the chips from it? (Yeah, someone actually wrote that one.) 

Do you know why lenses are round, but the photos are square in shape? 

Do you know why airplanes fly but don’t flap their wings in the process? 

What to write in the second/third/(etc.) message? 

Follow a certain narrative, don’t jump from a topic to topic, be consistent and talk about something that a person likes. 

List of topics for conversation. 

Here is a list of questions with which you will be able to follow up on any conversation and make it a bit more exciting. They are not particularly good as the first messages, but they will make do as second and third. 

If you would’ve won $5000, how would you spend them? 

Would you like to move to another country for permanent residence? If so, to which country would you move? (in the second message). Why? (and this is the third) 

In your opinion, what qualities should a real woman/man have? (or: what quality do you value in men/women?)

WE SAID THIS: Hope these useful tips could help!!

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