How Does One Deal with Being Betrayed by a Parent?
by Andrew Rafik
That was the day I grew up. The day I stopped being a 16-year-old teenager and became a 16-year-old man. The revelation took my breath away. I tried so hard not to smash the bathroom mirror as I stood there by myself, looking at my reflection, feeling betrayed, with a voice in my head telling me, “Your dad is married to another woman. They have two kids.”
That wasn’t even the worst part. The worst part was that I found out the day my dad clinically died, as he had a brain aneurysm the night before and went into a coma that he never came back from. Everything got out of the box when I noticed a woman who is a stranger to my family and kept coming to check on him. I confronted her and she told me everything! But what was the point? I wanted to be angry with him but I couldn’t. I wanted him to be alive. To be conscious, so I could scream, shout and ask him why? Were we not enough? I wanted him to be alive again so I could send him back into his comatose state myself.
All these “work” trips he said he had to go. All these phone calls he had to take outside of the house. Everything. How did I not work it out all in my head before? But how? How are you supposed to doubt your parent? Your dad? The sad, ugly truth came to me, which was: Never trust anyone. Even if it’s your fucking dad. For nearly two decades, my mom spent her life in love with a man who was a liar. Who did not deserve her. Which is why, seven years later, I haven’t told her yet, and never will because I don’t want her to feel the hate that I have towards this man.
I would like to admit one thing though: In a weird, fucked up way, I’m glad it actually happened. This situation changed me for life, but it made me the person who I am today and I’m very happy with that person, but most importantly, I’m proud. This situation got me closer to my mom, my sister and my brother and appreciate them, something I had never done before as I always took them for granted. I spend a lot of time and listen to them more now, and for that I’m thankful.
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