If These 10 Products Could Speak, They’d Say This

Because it’s time to give a voice to the voiceless.

 

 

Your phone

 

products

“Judging by the fact that I’m your best friend, you’re seriously a moron and you need to get a life. Like… yesterday. Also, stop making hot actors the wallpaper, creep.”

 

 

Your socks

 

“Maybe if you didn’t consecutively wear me with shoes, around the house and for days at a time, you wouldn’t be such a disgusting slob. But you are.”

 

 

Your laptop

 

laptop

“You watch weird videos, are really slow at writing essays and keep overheating me. I hate you and the only reason I freeze or crash is to escape your ugly face.”

 

 

Your morning coffee

 

“Without me you are nothing.”

 

 

Your everyday bag

 

“Are you a hoarder or are you actually psychotic enough to think that you need a toothbrush, a pair of socks, your camera charger, three bags of chips and a small plant on your trip to the supermarket? EMPTY ME.”

 

 

Your favorite chocolate

 

“When you’re broken, I will mend you. When you’re down, I will lift you up. When you need me, baby, I’ll be there.”

 

 

Your old lighter

 

“I swear to God if you click me one more time I will somehow summon the microscopic remains of gas left in here and I WILL LIGHT YOUR UGLY FACE ON FIRE OKAY?!”

 

 

Your iPod

 

“You’re stupid and have shit taste in music. Go away.”

 

 

Your jeans

 

“You’re getting fatter every day and I can promise you I will rip today in front of everyone when you bend over at exactly 2:37 pm. LOL.”

 

 

Your mirror

 

“I love you more than camera. She’s lying to you. NO ONE CAN EVER LOVE YOU LIKE I LOVE YOU.”

 

 

WE SAID THIS: Don’t miss The Shameful Songs We All Have On Our Playlists.

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